Thinspiration

I don’t understand why I’m like this. I know that i have supportive friends that are amazing people and love being around me. These people would be distraught if anything happened to me. But all i can think about is vanishing. I know it’s not normal for me to be happy one minute and the next feel like my heart is breaking. I guess this is depression at it’s worst. The only way to explain it would be a feeling in your chest and head. Not exactly pain. But heart break. Like someones putting pressure on my chest and I can’t get it off. My thoughts are making my brain tired and I just want to shut it off. Just an hour of silence and peace is all I want. The worst part is i’m not scared that one day I may find a way to shut it off.